I don't believe I have had a more hectic summer to date, therefore "blogging" has had to take a lower number on the priority totem pole. But I have a very precious friend who shared something amazing that the Lord has done in her life and I asked her to write a "guest post" for this blog. Only when I agreed to keep her anonymous and became more obnoxious than a nagging wife or dripping faucet did she finally agree to write.
So get blessed by this wonderful testimony of God's abundant love by an unknown, but well known, sister in Christ. Here's her story:
Year of Jubilee
"An opening of the prison to one who was bound"- Isa. 61:1
"An opening of the prison to one who was bound"- Isa. 61:1
I couldn't wait to turn forty! I really thought something magical would happen when the calendar page of my life turned from thirty nine to forty. I had been reading about the children of Israel wandering in the desert for forty years, savoring every word about them entering into the Promised Land, as though they had been written just for me. I began to see how significant the number forty was in the bible. It had rained forty days and forty nights, long before the ark's door could be opened on a new world. Jesus fasted for forty days and nights, before His public ministry began. So I was sure that something amazing was in store for me after thirty nine years of feeling like I had somewhat been walking in circles. But if anything, life just got harder and became more of a wilderness.
I did not want to have the same expectation for turning fifty. I had learned to resign myself to much in my life. But I did love the verses in Leviticus 25 that described the Year of Jubilee. A decade earlier, I had printed those verses on cards to be displayed on tables for a friend's fiftieth birthday party. As the calendar page of my life was about to turn again, I thought I should look them up for myself. I realized that after the 49th year of coming into the land of promise, the Lord wanted to restore rest to the land and restore liberty to the enslaved. The poetry of those words caused me to write them in my bible with a silent prayer that He would do just that in my life. But I was too busy to give it much thought.
Life had become like the teacup ride at Disneyland, spinning fast with activities, meetings, school, ministry, conferences, phone calls, emails, and of course, laundry! I prided myself at how well I was keeping all the plates spinning in the air, and that none seemed to be dropping! From all outward appearances, I was at the peak of my game. Suddenly I crashed inwardly and outwardly. My teacup came to a standstill. I was unable to continue in almost anything that I had become so good at doing. It was in that still place the Lord began to speak to me, putting His loving finger on different places deep in my heart, gently saying, "What about this?"
One of the first things He showed me through His Word came when a friend shared with me from Acts 12, I was in a prison where I was bound with chains between two soldiers. I could clearly see what my prison was, and the chains that held me there, but like Peter, I did not see any way out. Then the Lord spoke clearly to me from Hosea 2 that He was going to bring me into the wilderness and allure me, speak comfort to me, show me His lovingkindness, mercy, and faithfulness as a husband, not a master.
So now back into the wilderness I had wanted to escape from in my forties, He completely overwhelmed me with His love. He began waking me in the early morning hours just to be with Him. His Word began to come alive to me as never before, and songs of worship would pour into my heart. Nothing mattered anymore but those times alone with the Lord when He would speak to me. I realized all I had lost in the whirlwind my life had become. Immersed in ministry, I had lost Jesus Himself.
He then began to gently walk me through my life, showing me that even as a young girl, l had let others form my beliefs of what He thought of me, and had been looking at myself through their eyes. They had become bigger than God in my mind and their thoughts and opinions controlled my life, often with fear and shame. But even these revelations did not set me free. I was still enslaved in a prison and I could see no way out.
He then began to gently walk me through my life, showing me that even as a young girl, l had let others form my beliefs of what He thought of me, and had been looking at myself through their eyes. They had become bigger than God in my mind and their thoughts and opinions controlled my life, often with fear and shame. But even these revelations did not set me free. I was still enslaved in a prison and I could see no way out.
Layer after layer in my heart was being revealed and prayed over. I did not return to any of my former commitments. A friend started fasting for my deliverance. But I could not even see what my freedom was supposed to look like. Then, as sudden as the crash that brought me to a complete standstill five months earlier, the miraculous happened!
Jesus did not just overwhelm me with His love, He flooded my heart with His glory. I was simply reading Psalm 24:7 - "Lift up your heads, O you gates! And be lifted up, you everlasting doors, and the King of glory SHALL come in!" At that moment, the iron gates of my heart flung open of their own accord, the King of Glory shone His marvelous light, and the chains fell off. (Acts 12:7,10) I knew what was happening in my heart, the joy and presence of the Holy Spirit was so real. But the real test came, when I immediately found that what others thought or said of me no longer mattered. I was free from the chains I had let man place on me. Free from the finger pointing of the past and the present. He had simply opened the gates of my heart to receive His glory and I was free to walk out.
Jesus did not just overwhelm me with His love, He flooded my heart with His glory. I was simply reading Psalm 24:7 - "Lift up your heads, O you gates! And be lifted up, you everlasting doors, and the King of glory SHALL come in!" At that moment, the iron gates of my heart flung open of their own accord, the King of Glory shone His marvelous light, and the chains fell off. (Acts 12:7,10) I knew what was happening in my heart, the joy and presence of the Holy Spirit was so real. But the real test came, when I immediately found that what others thought or said of me no longer mattered. I was free from the chains I had let man place on me. Free from the finger pointing of the past and the present. He had simply opened the gates of my heart to receive His glory and I was free to walk out.
In my forty ninth year I had prayed a prayer of restoration and deliverance without even seeing my prison. Now in my Year of Jubilee, I believe I have finally just entered the Land of Promise, unshackled! A prisoner no more. Rejoice with me and let the gates of your own heart swing open to receive the King of Glory who loves to set us free!
Isaiah 45:2 I will go before you and make the crooked places straight, I will break in pieces the gates of bronze, and cut the bars of iron.
Psalm 107:16 For He has broken the gates of bronze, and cut the bars of iron in two.
Isaiah 54:12 I will make your pinnacles of rubies, your gates of crystal, and all your walls of precious stones.
Isaiah 58:6 Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke?
Isaiah 26:2,3 Open the gates, that the righteous nation which keeps the truth may enter in. For You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because He trusts in You.
