I have a friend who has an accounting background. Many years ago she used to tell me every year around tax time, "numbers are your friends." No matter how they were decorated, I never saw anything attractive about them but that's because I was irresponsible and didn't take care of my bank book very well. I've grown since then and tend to appreciate and embrace all they stand for in my world. Until this morning...My husband gave me a sentence that was hard to receive last night. He said that I was beginning to murmur and was forgetting to "count" my blessings. I took that quietly, in total contradiction to my Irish, passionate flesh, and went on to bed. Then I asked the Lord if that was true. I didn't sense any kind of answer right away, so i began to thank Him for all the blessings I could think of. But I have to shamefully admit-I hadn't fully received that correction. I actually thought..."I know how to count my blessings". I began listing them more to prove my husband wrong, rather than REPENT and soften to the rebuke.
This morning, as the echo of the words "unthankful" came to mind in prayer, the Lord softly spoke to my heart "You've learned to count your losses and griefs more than your blessings and mercies." Ugh...so true. I literally had begun a habit in my thoughts of mulling over, day after day, things in my life that were painful or losses or areas of great trials. I didn't know I could use counting to mount up evidence of difficulty...and sure enough...taking daily tallies of troubles are an invitation for "self pity". The Lord challenged me...do you see where you're heading? Second ugh.
God hates self-pity. The foundation of it is an accusation that God is unfair, too harsh, and everything contrary to His nature. Self-pity wants to be coddled and find others who will agree with its accusations and then put on garments of "victimization". Self-pity is the pavement that a soul can walk down and find darkness, discouragement, and quietness from heaven. It isolates and invites a person to turn inward, so that vision in life becomes very short-sighted and myopic. Rom. 1:21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. It's a characteristic of those who turn their back on God completely and I don't want to even slightly resemble that kind of person.
Counting. Numbers are our friends as long as we use them as vessels for good and not evil. Psalm 100:4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. Col. 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Yes, Thankfulness Avenue...Count My Blessings Street...definitely the roads I want to travel today. Wanna take a walk?
